!! I LOVE ELFS !!

2024: The Year of the Elf!

There are a great many elfs in the world and I love each and every all of them. In 2024 let's make sure all the elfs feel very special and appreciated.

🚧🚨 UNDER CONSTUCTION 🚨🚧

Watch it bub Im Diggin!!

an elf doing an honest day's labor in the website mines. it's holding a shovel and wearing a hardhat and making a stink face at you.

!! No elf haters allowed on my website !!

a drawing of a snooty guy making a face and saying “I HATE ELFS.” they have been crossed out and are overlaid with the word “WRONG!!”

“Who cares about an elf??”

Ok first of all UM? ME? Why else would I make the website I Love Elfs Dot Com? If you are asking this manner of question, you might as well be moving along as I have nothing of import to communicate with you. Not that I have anything of import to communicate otherwise but whatever

All Haters Please Report To IHateElfs.com

Repent

Real Ones Only!!!!

If you have repented and amended your ways, or if you were a smart genius all along and also love elfs, or if you are elf agnostic, welcome to my elf website. I imagine you already know or suspect why elfs are so great, but I think it helps to get us all on the same page and talk about what makes them most wonderful excellent creatures:

  • Ears (pointy)
  • The drama
  • Angst (doomed to carry the burden of mortality for so very, very long)
  • Pretty
  • Did I mention ears?

My Most Beloved Elf

It is, of course, him: that guy at the bottom of the volcano.

💖 Dagoth Ur 💖

Dagoth Ur from The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind (2002). He looks bad.

from UESPWiki (opens in a new tab)

I think he is very handsome and I spend most of my days thinking about him.

Art & Games & Stuff

Here are some fun little games and goofs I have made. They are not all elf-related but I hope we can move past that and you can enjoy them all the same.

a screenshot of the game Guy Fight 2020. the image shows a fight in progress between Strong Guy and Tough Guy, as well as a feed of the action

Guy Fight 2020

Pick Two Guys. Watch 'Em Fight.

Go GuyFight
an example of one of my hourly comics. this one is from 2019 and is captioned 9:00am. in the first panel, i'm in a car with my roommate at the time, a scruffy-looking dude named kyle. i'm dressed in my winter coat and hat, vibrating as the radio plays Torn by natalie imbruglia. the panel is captioned “trying hard not to let on how much i like this song lest i scare kyle.” in the second panel, i'm walking into the office through the kitchen, where two partially-offscreen developers are talking. “driving sucks because people suck at driving,” one says as he frowns at the coffeepot. “true,” says the other. i'm looking to my left, where a tv is streaming a live feed of a panda in its enclosure. “panda cam is on at the office,” the caption reads. in the last panel, the panda is pictured with its face tucked into its paws, almost rolled up into a ball. the caption reads “it's sleeping so we are being very quiet”

Hourly Comics

Comics drawn for Hourly Comic Day (2019 and 2021 – 2024)!

Look at 'em
a picture of the browser-based game Lonk vs. Squonk Pennsylvania Smackdown. it shows the Squonk (a floating, tentacled pig monster) fighting off a bastardized version of Link from the legend of zelda.

Lonk vs. Squonk Pennsylvania Smackdown

This is a bad game that does not work. Godspeed should you dare attempt it.

Morrowind Thesis

Let me tell you some facts about some elfs. You won't regret it.

Learn the Truth WARNING: downloads a big file
a photo of Bonny “Bonald” Baloney, a tabby cat, done in the style of shepard fairey's HOPE poster for obama

BonnySucks.com

My cat is awful. But also she is running for president.

Discover Nald (opens in a new tab)
a photo of Burger the Cat. she's a tuxedo cat and she looks like she has devil horns

Burger ROCKS!!!

This website was made by my other cat, Burger, about my other cat, Burger.

Discover Burger (opens in a new tab)

What's the story?

Obviously the story of this website is that I love elfs. That is why I made the website that is called I Love Elfs Dot Com.

Apart from that there are some other things that could be known in this world. Namely that my name is rex and I made this website. This is a repository for the many stupid things I have created that I don't want my actual human name and face attached to.

You understand? rex is a dog's name. It's not the name I give to humans or other creatures who may hold power over me. Here I can talk all I want about elfs and how I like their ears. I don't want the fae to know me, nor do I want my potential employers to (necessarily, immediately) know how much I like elfs. That kind of knowledge is best shared over time as to grow the horror.

Thank.

Thanks for visiting my elf website. I hope you have good feelings about it. I do.